1. Make sure your in-text references are full. It isn’t quite right to just put “(Plato)” after a claim. In addition, you need the year of publication, and the page number from where the relevant passage occurs. This is so I can go and check that the reference is accurate. This goes for secondary sources too.2. The essy makes a number of interest claims but they don’t get fully explored (e.g. about how the value of democracy is premised upon an educated population — you could say more about this, like what forms this education could take. Additionally, whether it is necessary or sufficient for a functioning democracy, since remember Plato’s second worry that desires and passions often overpower reason, even in informed people). You have to make sure the essay is more critical analysis (roughly 70%) than explanation/report of views (30%). Try to apply this to your paper. Don’t be afraid to explore your critical claims more, and convince the reader that you are right.3. Following from the above, make sure you very clearly clarify that there are (at least) TWO arguments against democracy Plato gives: (1) people are not informed enough to vote responsibly; (2) people are too susceptible to their desires rather than their reason (and so are vulnerable to rhetoric). You do talk about both of these, but you tend to run them together as one argument, when they are importantly different. As mentioned, perhaps a society could fix (1), but can they fix (2)? Maybe it is too fundamentally a part of human nature to change, making democracy dangerous even today (and the election of Trump might show that).